Lonely Cucumber

It's amazing what you see by the side of the road next to the center guard rails when you are stuck in traffic and crawling along. Whenever I am stuck in traffic I use my time wisely, I scope out what has been discarded in the wasteland that is the highway median. Things get stuck to the rail divider or washed into debris piles by torrential rains that flood their way to the nearest drain. I have seen things such as hats sticking out of drains, a curled up skeleton by an overpass, pieces of tire, front bumpers, hub caps, and general trash. However, most of these things are normal sights along the interstate. The other week I saw something unusual and completely unexpected.

As I was crawling along I-40, on the inner shoulder heading east, was a lovely English cucumber. It was sitting by itself on the pavement, whole and fresh looking. It made me want to reach out and pick it up as if the median were a farmer's market stall. Where did the cucumber come from? Why was it not squashed or damaged in some way? Why did it look so delicious sitting on a filthy highway shoulder?

Note, I did not take this picture but found that there have been
other cucumbers on the road in Sheffield, UK.
"Cucumber on the road" - borrowed from Spiritus Ex Machina on Flickr

Given the chance, I probably would have picked it up and taken it home. Had it proved edible, I would have washed it off and eaten it raw with a little salt. Yes, I know I'm odd, but why let a lovely veggie or fruit (thinking back to the roadside grapefruit) go to waste? People are starving all over the world! I would hate to laugh in their faces with my excess by letting something rot on the side of the road that I could have eaten.

However, traffic picked up as I drove past it and it was left behind. I watched is slide out of my side-view mirror and lamented having to leave it there. Other than the treat of having a reclaimed cucumber to munch on later, it would have been fun to see people's faces as I left my car to pick it up. I would like to have done that and heard what they were thinking as they saw me. That would have been priceless.

Corn-y

I saw something on the way to work that surprised me, and there are few things that I see on the road that surprise me any more. Sure, I can get wowed or frustrated or angry, but rarely surprised. What did I see? A pick-up truck with a bed full of corn. Why was that surprising? Because there seemed to be a mountain of course that wasn't blowing away like I thought it should be. There was a retaining wall of corn created by tucking them into the bed vertically at all the edges, and it worked. I was able to capture the two pictures below with my cell phone. The quality isn't great, but you can see what I'm talking about.




It seemed like an amazing feat of physics to me, but then I don't really know much about that field of study. It made me think about what would happen if the truck's bed had a heating element. How funny would it be to have popcorn exploding on the highway? If you opened your windows you might get a snack. But I guess that only happens when it's Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.

Doppelganger

I got a promotion at work and a very good pay increase to go along with it, but when thinking about it this morning on the way to work it didn't seem like enough. What? Am I getting greedy? Yes, but only with my time. I'm tired of my commute. They could give me a 20k increase and I might be able to overlook the two hours I spend on the road each day, but until then it won't be enough. Sigh.

My commute-free self waved from the front porch this morning as I backed out of the driveway, taunting me. It's job is so simple - it does whatever I imagine I'd rather be doing than commuting to work. How great would that be? I wish that I could be someone else's free time doppelganger. I would love doing whatever they wished they could do and reporting back to them that, yes, it was as awesome as they thought it would be.

I need to come up with a company that provides a doppelganger service. However, there would be restrictions on what your hired doppelganger could do. This would not be the kind of service where they had to do all the things you didn't want to do. No, that is what they have administrative assistants for, but this service would take on the great things that you simply don't have time for. Want to tell people that you have climbed Mt. Everest? Sure, we can do that for you. We'll even document the climb with pictures and your doppelganger will look just like you. We would take great pride in finding the right look alike.

Want to go to every show of your teenager's high school theater production, but have to work two of the nights that it is showing? No problem! Your doppelganger will be there in your favorite seat, taking notes and pictures so that when you switch places right after the show, you'll know everything that happened.

Can't make it to the wedding of your spouse's/significant other's best friend? Don't worry, we have that covered! We will even find a gift from the registry for you to purchase and for your doppelganger to take to the event. You'll be the life of the reception without actually having to be there!

Yes, I can see it now, I will be a millionaire soon with the introduction of my new company - Doppel Dealings. Look out, World, your life just got easier and more exciting...for only $20 an hour!

Never alone...

We commuters are never alone on the road, or apparently on the internet either! I received a comment on my last post from another girl who hates her commute and likes to blog about it. Not only do we muse at similar times about similar topics, but we have almost the same blog address to boot! My fellow commuter is located at commutermusing.blogspot.com -- my address minus the "s". The title of her blog is Commusings, a very clever construction of commuter and musings, and she has done what I have not, Googled our blog topic. I'll just cheat and link to her post to give the results. I also thought I might be the only one, or if not the only one, at least the best! I can no longer make that assumption.

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 1:9 NIV)

Yes, the Bible says that. It's old, and even it knows better.

miles and miles

Don't worry that you are missing anything through my lack of posts lately. Most of my commuting time these days is spent thinking about what I need to do for class, or trying to stay awake as I am getting less sleep these days. I will be back to posting regularly in the near future.

By Degrees....

Homework is kicking my butt these days, there is so much of it. My day begins with planning how I can get my work done, my homework done, my reading done, eat, take care of the cats and my husband, and then find some time to sleep. Getting a new degree is exciting; doing the work to earn it is overwhelming.

This past week's work has left no time for blogging. I have decided that while I am working on my degree, I will continue to blog, but not everyday - just when I really have something to say. Of course that could be everyday at different times.

This week I have seen something interesting - two different vanity plates devoted to degrees. The first was on a Honda S2000: JD MBA. The other was on a Chevy Suburban: MS PHD. I tried to think about which one I thought was the most successful based on the vehicle that the plates were attached to. There are different ways to interpret their cars. First, the Honda is sporty, fun, and possibly fast. It is probably good on gas and therefore slightly conservative as it isn't a pure luxury car like a Lexus or Infinity. The Suburban is a large beast. Bad on fuel economy, imposing, and yet useful. It can be a great family car if you have a large number of kids.

Which would I rather have by comparison? A JD/MBA or a MS/PHD? I think I'll stick with my MAs, and my civic. Perhaps I will one day be able to have a plate that reads: MA-3/MLS. Who needs a JD, MBA, or PHD when you have 4 Master's degress? I'll be more broadly educated.

And equally in debt.

IM GOOD

I had my first in person class tonight. It was two and a half hours of awesomeness focused around Diversity. Yes, Diversity was an old, old wooden ship used during the Civil War era, but the diversity being discussed in class is more along the lines of differences.

Anyway, after class let out at 9:00, I was driving the 40 minutes home when I saw a Cadillac Escalade with the vanity plate: IM GOOD. Suuurrrreeee. You're so good that you have to tell everyone that with your license plate so they'll be aware of it. That sounds kind of fishy to me. That sort of mentality - trying to over sell something - makes me question instead of accept.

However, maybe that is the point with this license plate. If you say IM GOOD and people instantly question it, perhaps, Mr. Escalade, you are trying to capitalize on the "bad boy" image. Well, either way, I won't buy it.

Put that plate on a Toyota Prius and I won't question it. Sure you'd be safe, boring, and taken for granted, but that's what being good is all about, right?

Driving while...

I have started a new Master's program to get my MA in Teaching, with a concentration in secondary English. My first class is about inclusive classrooms, and as a summer class it packs a lot of information into a short amount of time. Unfortunately I got behind on my audio lectures that are stored in an online classroom. My first test is today, and I still have 4.5 hours of lecture that I have not heard. However, I have managed to read all the reading materials.

Last night my sister suggested that I listen to the lectures on the way to and from work. That would be two hours of lecture that I could combine with time spent doing nothing else (other than driving safely). In her opinion, it would be just like listening to the radio.

I had to think about that for a while, because honestly I could do that with my laptop on the way to work. How I would take notes while I was driving would be a challenge that only a good imagination and ingenuity could overcome, but listening to the lectures was perfectly reasonable.

That is when I tried to picture myself in my car, listening to the lecture, and somehow taking notes. I have heard of a lot of people doing things while driving - putting on makeup, eating, talking on the phone, texting, doing their hair, and even changing their clothes, but I have yet to hear of someone taking a class while driving.

Honestly, I have actually tried to study on the way to an exam in my car. I would keep my notebook in my lap or on the seat next to me and look at it at stop signs and stop lights, but listen to a class? I don't think I have the ability to concentrate, understand, and retain information while I am also driving that would make it a worth while endeavor.

My inability to multitask in this manner, or admitting that I am a poor auditory learner, fit in well with the course content on learning disabilities. In this case, I do not have the superior abilities needed to succeed.

CDOUGDIG

I was running late this morning and did not get to take a cup of coffee from home to enjoy on the way to work. As a result, I stopped off at a Bruegger's Bagel shop in order to get a good cup of reasonably priced coffee. On my way out of the shopping center in which it was located, I saw a vanity plate that got my attention: CDOUGDIG.

My first thought was - Hey Doug, all I'm seeing you do is drive, not dig. Honestly, Doug, in your white Tacoma pick-up truck, who is ever going to be able to read your vanity plate while you are actually digging - or whatever else you may mean by that? Seems a little silly if you ask me, but I know, you didn't.

Maybe next time you should.

From this moment on, I am available to review your vanity plate choices and tell you which ones are funny, interesting, and worthy; and which ones are best left in your head and not on your bumper. Please submit your choices to me for comment by commenting on any of my blog entries, and I'll be sure to respond.

The motto for my vanity plate review service:

Review to avoid looking like a fool - otherwise, car-pool.

NEED NAP

I saw this vanity plate on the way to work: NEED NAP. I couldn't agree more.

Crash

On the way home from work yesterday, I witnessed a fender bender. There was quite a bit of traffic, and you could only advance in short spurts. In the lane next to me, a car ran right into the back of a stationary SUV. I had already stopped, waiting for my lane to move forward, and was looking for vanity plates to read. The SUV was about 15 feet away from me and I happened to be looking at its plate when a black car plowed into the back of it. The driver couldn't have been going more than 15 miles an hour, but he didn't even brake before hitting the SUV. He must not have been looking in front of him at all.

I turned to see what he was doing, and he was looking down into his lap. He seemed unmoved by the accident. The hood of his car was raised and crunched in and his grill and bumper majorly damaged. I was surprised by how much damage his car had sustained in such a low speed collision. The SUV seemed fine with the exception of its hitch. That was hanging by a thread after the accident.

My lane started moving again after the SUV managed to pull over to the inner shoulder of the road. I watched the black car sit in the lane in my rear view mirror for a while. I'm not sure what the driver was doing, but he wasn't moving his car out of the way of traffic.

I thought about pulling over to be a witness of the accident, but as all rear end collisions are the fault of the car in the back, I figured that I wouldn't be needed.

It was a strange experience.

On E

I can imagine that 30 years ago it was probably relatively easy to run out of gas, especially when you think of the gas shortage of the 70's, but what about today? Can any American have a valid excuse for running out of gas these days? (with the exception of my husband who's fuel gauge is broken)

Yesterday I witnessed someone on the side of the road filling the tank of their white BMW station wagon with a gas can. It appeared that someone in a green Ford had given them a lift back to their car.

Honestly, you ran out of gas in a BMW? Not only should it have a gas light to tell you when your tank is getting low, but it is sure to have some computerized voice that informs you in grammatically perfect English that, "Your fashionable European vehicle needs to be refueled in exactly 54.26 miles from the black and white, Grade B dairy cow that you are scheduled to pass on this country road in approximately 3.5 seconds."


It is my belief that you must either be a legally blind and deaf BMW driver, or you're an idiot in an expensive car. I think only the later could get a driver's license, so there you are - an idiot.

Siting: The Million Dollar Man!

That's right, guys, I saw the Million Dollar Man while commuting to work this morning. No, not the Six Million Dollar Man from the 1974 TV show, but the Million Dollar Man - completely different. Who is the Million Dollar Man, you might ask. Well, let me tell you.

The Million Dollar Man was a professional wrestler from Texas or Arizona that hit his wrestling peak in the late 80's and early 90's with the WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment (formerly the WWF - World Wrestling Federation). Today he is a motivational speaker and evangelist.

How did I see the Million Dollar Man? Well, it was rather easy. I was driving along I-40, like I do every work day morning, when a white minivan merged in front of me from an on-ramp. And there it was! The vanity plate that said it all: MILLN$MAN.

So, honestly, I didn't see him in person, but I saw what must obviously be his white minivan, right?

Amazing. Celebrity vehicle siting on the way to work. How lucky am I?

Rain Music

My husband left his CD in my car from the weekend. It's a mix of different songs including Townes Van Zandt, Old Crow Medicine Show, and Drive-By Truckers.

One of my favorite songs on the CD is by Ryan Adams - Damn, Sam (I Love a Woman That Rains). It seemed very appropriate for this morning with the rain, and it just has a wonderful melancholy sound that reverberates best with gray skies and damp coolness.

Ryan Adams : Damn, Sam (I Love a Woman That Rains)

As a man I ain't never been much for sunny days
I'm as calm as a fruit stand in New York and maybe as strange
But when the color goes out of my eyes, it's usually the change

But damn, Sam, I love a woman that rains

Clear as a bell, and sound as an old engineer
Clear as a bell, and sound as an old engineer
With talented breezes that blow off your hat with a sneer
As a man I've never been much for talking to
I'm as open as the door in her house that leads to her room
And when the color goes out of my eyes, she's usually too

But damn, Sam, I love a woman that's blue

As a man I ain't never been much for sunny days
I'm as calm as a fruit stand in New York and maybe as strange
But when the color goes out of my eyes, it's usually the change

But damn, Sam, I love a woman that rains

You should be able to listen to the song at Lyrics Mode. I highly recommend it.

Early

20080925_P1020897_time i've got by jaycobs

I managed to get out of the house this morning when I was supposed to, around 6:30. The drive into work was traffic free and blissful. The perfect start to a Friday.

While I tell myself every work day morning that I need to leave the house by 6:30, more often than not I am getting out of bed at 6:30 instead of walking out the door. I was able to leave on time for the first few weeks when I started my commute, but gradually I left later and later. Now I'm lucky if I get into work before 8:30.

This morning I left on time, but for me....

I was early.

Mirrors

Borrowed from Katherine Finch.

I must be a horrible driver; I never use my mirrors.

I was merging this morning onto the interstate and was warned by a honking horn that someone was in my blind spot. I was glad that they were paying attention. Before I merge I always try to check my blind spot, or at least what I can see of it over my shoulder, and this time was no exception. However, I missed them completely during my pre-merging check of the next lane.

I tried to think about how I use my mirrors while I'm driving, and was shocked to realize that I hardly ever use them. Am I alone is this? Does anyone else constantly check their mirrors?

To be honest, I do use my rearview mirror on occasion when someone is tailgating me - which drives me insane. Other than that, I'm not much of a mirror user. I would rather turn and look for myself to either side.

Perhaps I should start using them more. It felt bad to be the moronic merger this morning.

Retro Vision

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live in the late 19th Century, or even the beginning of the 20th. Besides being fascinated by the clothing and the ornamental roles of women in that era, I wonder what it would be like not to have a car.

I drive an hour each morning to work. What would I be doing if I couldn't do that? What would my life be like without the freedom to get in the car and go wherever I want to?

In a way, I believe that there would be a few benefits. For one, I love horses. I lived on a farm for eight months where I got to feed horses and muck out stalls. I enjoyed every moment of it. In fact, if I could clean stalls for a comfortable living I am almost positive that I would change career tracts instantly.

Beyond the horses, there is the idea that you would have to walk more places. I love walking, and while it is not always such a great thing in the middle of 90 degree weather, it is an enjoyable way to get around. I used to walk miles a day when I lived in Boston. Granted, I did take the "T" (subway) on many occasions, but often I would just walk where I wanted to go. Walking allows you time to look at things along the way, think, and decompress. That is one of the reasons that I miss living in Boston.

Walking and horses are a great draw for me to an era without cars. There are so many romantic views of that time that often I am caught up in seeing things in an unrealistic way. However, my solid background in history allows me to cast off those fantasies and imagine the time as it was for those living in it. It would be a hard way to live if I kept my current social status based on income. I would not be wealthy, but neither would I be poor by any means. I would be in a merchant class where there was enough money for a few luxuries, but not enough to make life easy.

Even with my informed view of the time, I still yearn for it on occasion. Sometimes I imagine having a very difficult life, but one that had more solid meaning. Meaning in our lives these days is so intangible and fleeting. And perhaps that is the whole impetus behind these yearnings.

I'm searching for meaning.

NINEBALL

The nine ball is a happy yellow-striped billiard ball; it is also an enjoyable game. I have never been a good pool player - I am an early eight ball player (completely by accident) and therefore lose. This morning I was reminded of this long neglected pastime by a yellow Miata with a black hood. It's vanity plate capitalized on the color of the car and it's sporty nature. It read: NINEBALL.

I now have the worst urge to run off to a pool hall, rack up a game, have a beer, and smoke a few cigarettes. I have a hard time playing pool without drinking or smoking, which is probably why I will not run off to the pool hall anytime soon.

What I need is a pool table at home. My husband would love one - I would love one. Ok, new item for the completely unnecessary home improvement items list.

Thanks, Mr. NINEBALL. This is all your fault.

Lost

I have a good sense of direction. People call me when they want to know where they are and how to get where they want to go. My friend K in Boston has even called me since I moved back to NC to get directions. I am often seen as a personal navigational system. My ex, D, would often call for my help when lost. He had no sense of direction and used to say that his Zebra was broken, an imaginary navigation system.

I am constantly expanding the maps within my head. When I go a different way to get to a familiar place, I am often able to fill in once blank sections of my internal map. I love the Aha! moments that occur when I can connect streets and link thoroughfares in my head.

Despite my sense of direction, I can still get lost - in my head. This morning I called my husband while driving to work because I had remembered something to remind him about. I knew that he would never remember to do it today if I didn't call. Opening my cell, hitting the speed dial number, pressing send and getting my husband on the phone took only a minute. I began speaking - "I just wanted to remind you that..." - and suddenly I was lost. What had I wanted to say? What was I supposed to remind him about? I felt ridiculous. I forgot what I didn't want him to forget in a span of less than two minutes. Pathetic.

Zach tried to come up with things that he might need to be reminded of, but no guess was right. In the end, I told him that I would call him as soon as I remembered. I hung up the phone and remember not 5 seconds later. Ridiculous and bizarre!

My mind is on the fritz; a computer with a sporadic short. I blame the rain, and you know how I feel about rain.

MYMILK$$

How much money would you say that a Porsche Boxster costs? Hmm?

I know that it is more than I will ever be able to spend on a car. And yet yesterday I saw a man with the most amazing vanity plate on his green Boxter - MYMILK$$. The questions that this raises for me are:

1) Who is giving you milk money, and can they support me too?
2) Did you steal the milk money of thousands of other kids to afford this car?
3) How much does milk cost where you are buying it? ( because I swear you are getting ripped off)
4) Since you have spent your milk money on a car, how many years did you go without any milk?

The plate was clever and funny, but it left me with a bad taste in my mouth...rather like sour milk.

Yes, I am jealous.